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Being not doing – Monday Motivator 9 October 2017

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

From philosopher  Pierre Tielhard de Chardin.

Hi everyone and welcome to the Monday Motivator.  Hope this makes a difference to your week.

I love this quote, it sums up for me what our life is all about.  We are forever forgetting that though, I know I do and I know this really well!

We get caught up in the doing, doing, doing of life instead of concentrating on the “being”.  Being is the key to living a fulfilling, meaningful and happy life.

I work predominantly with people in business and I do that because I know how hard it can be to run a business successfully and still have a fulfilling life with time for the people who are important to you.  I have been a co-owner of a busy cafe/bakery with my husband for over 30 years.  When we started out I was working full time as an accountant and the business was just supposed to be part-time while my husband was the main child-carer.  It took off, which was great – but it just got busier and busier and we responded by both working harder and harder.  They were very hard times as we tried to do everything and be everything to everyone.  We never had time for ourselves and we definitely didn’t have as much time for our children as we would have liked.  The result of all that was that we had a successful business, I had a successful career but we weren’t happy.  Our lives were very stressful, we worked 60 – 80 hours a week and we weren’t living happy, well balanced lives.  Everything was about work and the business.

This is what I now help business owners avoid.  Think of life like a 3 legged stool.  One leg represents health, one leg represents wealth, the other represents relationships.  Unless you have all 3 legs equal and strong, you can’t sit on that stool.  Take one of those legs away and you fall over.  It is important that we have all 3 in balance.

You might be thinking this is easier said than done.  Especially if you are in the position we were – kids, work, business….busy, busy, busy.  You can change it though.  Here are some ideas to set you off:

  1. Start by wanting to make changes. That is the very biggest thing you will do.  More often than not, we feel that we just can’t.  It’s like being on the treadmill that you can’t get off, but once you say “enough, I’m not going to be like this anymore”, things will start to happen
  2. Become self aware. Enhancing your self awareness will enhance every area of your life.  Start by noticing any repeating patterns that you engage in that cause you stress.  Keep a journal, that is a fantastic way to raise self awareness.  Practise meditation and mindfulness, don’t just stay stuck in the busy, busy of life.
  3. Make time for you. Put yourself first.  I used to always think this was just selfish, but if you are no good, you are no good to anyone else.  Putting you first actually improves your relationships with others.
  4. Get help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  You don’t have to do it all alone – best that you don’t actually!  This was my biggest weakness and one that I still have to watch – the tendency to get on do it all myself and never say “please help me” to anyone.
  5. Ditch your “to do” list in favour of a “to be” list! This is massive and will make a huge difference to your life, your business and your relationships.  Start by thinking of the area of your life that needs the most improvement, and rather than thinking what can you do, ask yourself “who am I being?”  That will provide the answers you need.

Hope you all have a magnificent week.  Get in touch with me if you need any help with this or if you just want to ask anything about it.