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Stopping Self-Sabotage

“Self sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.

Alyce Cornyn-Selby

Hello and welcome to another Monday Motivator, helping you get through your week.  I hope you managed to take action last week with the help from your Motivator.  Remember, it only needs to be small steps to start getting big results.

Sometimes though, even taking small steps can be too hard.  One of the things that can hold us back in anything we are trying to achieve is self-sabotage.  Our quote states it really well.  Why on earth would we do that?  It makes no sense whatsoever.  Yet, it is a common thing that happens and most of the time, we aren’t even aware we are doing it.

Self sabotage happens when we know what to do and how to do it, but we do everything but.  Procrastination and perfectionism are the main culprits in self sabotage, along with judging ourselves harshly and comparing ourselves negatively to others.  At the heart of this are feelings of low self worth.  The keys to overcoming self sabotage is to raise self awareness, work on improving self belief and focus on living in the present moment.

Raising self awareness of self sabotage

This is one of the best things we can do to uncover self sabotage, once we actually identify that there is a pattern going on, we can start to do something about it.  One of the things I have found works really well is to keep a journal.  That will highlight and provide insights into patterns that aren’t serving us.  It is especially powerful when trying to make some changes and/or achieving goals.  Just jot down what is happening for you, what’s working and what isn’t, and if the things stopping you are things that have always stopped you.  Once you identify all this, you can take some action on the things that are stopping you, and change your habits to empowering ones rather than sabotaging ones.

Improve self belief

The main reason we self sabotage is due to this.  We just don’t feel worthy of achieving the stuff that we want, so we indulge in behaviour that stops us getting it.  It stands to reason if you work on this, you will feel worthy, which is the core of accepting who you are, warts and all!  Start by practising affirmations.  Come up with affirmations that will overcome the things that stop you, that reprint your brain with a positive feeling about who you are.  This can take time, as you will be turning around thoughts that have hung around for years and stopped you from being the most awesome version of you that you can be.  You were designed to be perfect and that’s what you are, even in your imperfection.  Acknowledge that to yourself in your affirmations.

Live in the present moment

This can make a huge difference as to whether you sabotage yourself or not.  Mostly, when we are sabotaging, we are either living in the past or projecting into the future.  Those same old stories we tell ourselves, e.g. “I never have any money, it’s always been like that, it’s really hard for me to make decent money.  It’s always been that way and it always will be.”  We are looking to the past story and projecting more of the same into the future.  Let’s not do that!

Focusing on the here and now, this very moment is so powerful.  It makes you feel more in control and in a much better headspace.  Try it and see how it feels.  You can do this by practising mindfulness, being mindful when eating, playing, working, exercising etc etc.  If you want to know more, check out Eckhart Tolle’s book, the Power of Now.  It’s a brilliant way to live your life as it will turn sabotage into empowerment, reduce stress and anxiety and help you be the best you possible.

I hope these tips have given you some ideas on how to overcome self sabotage.  Contact me if you want to discuss any of this, or to share with me how you are doing.  Just click here to email me.  Have an awesome week, overcoming all the stops and being the best you.