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Taking responsibility instead of making excuses.

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.

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Hi Motivation Seekers, how are you?  Did you get some abundant thinking going on after last week’s motivator?  Hope that worked for you and that it is setting the scene for an amazing year for you.

This week, we have been having really hot weather here in little, windy, cloudy NZ.  You would think we would be pleased, but everyone has been moaning about it.  Then we had a southerly come through for a couple of days and it got quite cold.  What was everyone saying then?  Yes, you got it….more complaints!  It occurred to me that we complain a lot, we think negatively more often than positively and we are always justifying why we can’t do things.  There are always lots of excuses.  Lots of reasons why not.  So we are going to look at that a bit this week and see if we can turn that on it’s head and start seeing reasons why!

What is behind your excuses?

That’s the first thing we want to check.  The excuses are just masking the real reasons.  If you think there is something you are being called to do, but you can’t do it now because:  you’re too old, you’re too young, you don’t know enough, you don’t have enough money, you don’t have enough time, your kids are too young, your kids are too old  etc etc.  I’m sure I’ve only outlined a few of the excuses we can come up with.  Look at your main excuse, the one you use all the time.  There will be a pay off for this excuse, and it will just be masking a fear that you haven’t acknowledged.  My main excuse is always that I’m too busy.  I’ve used that nearly all my life, and I know it is merely hiding my feelings of inadequacy, not being good enough and a big fear of failure.  Luckily, through the coaching I have had, I managed to discover this and find out what to do about it.  That’s not to say that it is gone, but I can now make it go at will.  Here are some tips to help with this, in facing different fears.

Deal to the fear

Fear of failure – the things I do to deal with this are to visualise success and let myself feel how good that feels, engaging all my senses to really live the success.  I also meditate and I do affirmations.  I try to spend time with people who make me feel energised and that I can do anything.  I remind myself that amazing people have failed and that failure is just a stepping stone on the journey to success.  If there was no failure, there would never be any learning and we wouldn’t know as much.  I am kind to myself and let myself move forward in small steps, so I don’t feel massively overwhelmed.

Fear of not being enough – this usually stems from not being loved enough when you were young.  That’s not to say your parents were cold and unloving, but you may not have been loved the way you needed to be, your love language may have been different to that being offered by your parent(s).  If you want to know more about that, I recommend you read “The 5 love languages” by Gary Chapman, check out the website click here.   Once, you discover this, you can more readily accept what was missing and why it was missing.  You can then make sure that you get your love language met in future relationships and finally stop feeling “not enough.”

Fear of fear- this might seem weird, but I think there is a lot of that around these days.  It is an overwhelming anxiety, a low level feeling that things won’t turn out right and it can absolutely cripple you from taking any action at all.  What do I suggest for this?  I hate to tell you, but it’s a matter of facing up to it, just doing the thing that makes you fearful.  Your fears when faced are never as scary as you built them up to be.  And as is mentioned in our quote, it is probably just a big story that you have made up and it’s just bullshit.  So let’s start creating better stories that empower us instead of stopping us.  Have a fantastic week.